Hidan in wonderland
by hidan-kohai
Summary: This is a story based on Alice in wonderland but with the Akasuki instead,
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. the story was based on Alice in Wonderland.

This is a story about a boy named Hidan and his strange adventure. Hidan was a young boy at the age of 7. He very much loved to play outside and to pretend he lived in a world where logic and common sense did not exist. His father Pein was strict and mean and always said how ridiculous Hidan was acting. Even his mother, Konan, who tought young hidan about the wonders of ones imagination, said he was much to old to be behaving like a child. Hidan's older brothers where not very nice either, they loved to pick on him and blame him for things he did not do, especially the oldest of his 5 older brothers, Kakuzu. Kakuzu loved to get Hidan in any kind of trouble but he mostly just beats Hidan up. Hidan's father's old friend sasori is very smart and quiet wise but still he kind of annoyed Hidan always saying not to keep Hidan's parents waiting because it's rude or when he asks him a question the strange red haired man would respond in some form of a riddle. His only true friend was Deidara who was a strange blue eyed blond cat.

One afternoon Hidan was out playing with Deidara, well more like Deidara watching Hidan run around pretending to be a ninja in one of his fantasy worlds again. They were playing in the courtyard when suddenly his brothers Kakuzu, Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu and Tobi come over and Hidan stops and looks at them knowing well they weren't here to join him in beating up people who turned into what he liked to called tailed beasts. Kisame ruffled Hidans hair knowing how much Hidan hates getting his hair touched and he laughs a bit "whatchya doing freak?" Hidan frowns, he absolutely hated his brothers. "i'm being a ninja who beats up people" Hidan responded proudly. All five of them start laughing and Zetsu speaks up, the strange boy sounding like he is two different people because his voice changes with every word he sais from deep to normal, "and **I** used **to** think **tobi** was **the** messed **up** one" they all laugh harder and Tobi, being a complete moron, laughs with them and hidan growls at them "shut up! I hate you all!' the boys laugh even harder and itachi speaks up "aww look he's throwing a fit how cute" he sais in a mock tone. Hidan glares at them and Deidara hisses. Kakuzu shoves Hidan to the ground and laughs as Hidan glares at him "what? gonna get up and kick my ass?" Kisame laughs when hidan gets up looking as if he were about to fight back "oooh watch out Kakuzu, the little freak might try using his ninja moves on you" They all laugh again and Hidan huffs then Kakuzu pushes Hidan a bit from side to side laughing. Hidan gets angry and tries running at Kakuzu after Kakuzu pushes Hidan away but he only trips poor Hidan. His brothers laugh and Kakuzu smirks down at Hidan and laughs when he sees tears in Hidans eyes. Hidan gets up and runs off crying.

Awhile later Hidan is sitting by a tree and Deidara is laying next to him. He pets Deidara "...you know Deidara...truth be told i wasn't crying because they scared me or hurt me...i really like kakuzu. i mean i really look up to him." Hidan tears up "s-so...why is he so mean to me" Deidara mewls and Hidan cries again.


	2. Chapter 2

Moments later Deidara starts meowing a lot and Hidan looks at him then looks at what he's looking at then rolls his eyes "Deidara calm down its just a rabbit in a waist coat and holding a watch" he sais not caring then frowns and looks at the rabbit again "A rabbit in a waist coat?!" Hidan gets up "Oh mister rabbit!?" Hidan calls out. The snow white rabbit keeps running along and sais "i'm late, i'm late for a very important date, hello, good bye, i'm late, i'm late, i'm late" Hidan frowns puzzled and puts his hands on his hips "strange, what could a rabbit be late for" Hidan says with curiosity in his voice and Deidara mews and follows Hidan has he follows the white rabbit up to a rock with a hole in the ground in front of it and hidan looks at Deidara "i'm gonna go check it out." Deidara meows in protest but hidan is already crawling in.

Suddenly hidan slips and falls threw the hole passing many strange and peculiar things. Hidan lands in a large room with a single door, much to small for him to fit threw. "i want to know where the damn rabbit is going" hidan said with his arms crossed then he noticed he wasn't wearing his previous clothes which consisted of a loose fitting shirt and some beige shorts. Hidan was now wearing a red poofy and frilly shirt with what seemed like black overalls but the legs ended in poofy shorts and the front was very low ending at his belly button, he was also wearing black and red stripped leggings with black shoes resembling more like school girl shoes. "I look like a freaking girl!" Hidan complained annoyed.

After a good hour of complaining Hidan calmed down and looked around then noticed a box of cookies on a table so he took one and ate it happily not realizing he had grown to what looked like a mile high until after he had finished his cookie. Hidan frowned very upset and not at all liking the small space he had when he was this size and suddenly a bottle poofed out of no where that said "Drink me" Hidan read the bottle aloud. He shruged and drank then entire bottle and squeaked when he suddenly shrank to what seemed like 3 inches and the bottle was now three times his size. Hidan huffed but became happy when he noticed he's just the right size for the stupidly small door so he runs over and opens it then runs threw.


	3. Chapter 3

He looks around and sees the strange white rabbit and smiles then procceeds to run after it. "hey rabbit!" The white rabbit continues to run off in a hurry and Hidan quickly loses him and realizes he's hopelessly lost.

He decides to take a random path and see where it leads him. After a few hours a boy who looks to be the age of 11 walks up and hidan blinks because the boy was literally halg black and half white but what freaked hidan out was that the boy also seemed to be part venus fly trap as well as have remarkable similarities to his brother Zetsu. "Hello" the boy said sounding nice and pleasent and hidan smiles about to respond when the strange plant boy speaks again but in a deeper voice "**Why are you here. get lost**" This confused hidan because a moment ago the boy seemed friendly "Zetsu don't be so rude to the poor boy" hidan blinked "Zetsu" he thought "**what? he has no right to be here**" the plant boy named Zetsu rolls his eyes "big meany" Hidan looks at them "uh...hi" Zetsu smiles "hello. **Hi" **Hidan frowns in confusion "who are you?" Zetsu laughs "our name is Zetsu. **Speaking of rude, shouldn't you introduce yourself first**" Hidan just stares "**its also rude to stare**" Hidan shakes his head "sorry...um. anyways. i should be on my way" he tries walking past Zetsu but the plant boy doesn't move "**why?**" Hidan frowns "i'm following the white rabbit" Zetsu cocks his head to the side confused "why?" Hidan huffs frustrated now "i want to know where he's going" Zetsu blinks "why? **why?**" Hidan growls "Because i'm curious!" Zetsu frowns then smiles and it kind of scares Hidan though he's not sure it's because of the plant boys sharp teeth or the way the boy looked at hidan. "**why not sit and and join us for lunch?**" Hidan frowns "um i really must be off" He tries walks past Zetsu but the boy blocks him "please. we're so desprately hungry" The creepy plant boy grins and Hidan squeaks in fear when the boy grabs him then tries to take a good bite out of Hidans arm but he punches Zetsu in the head which causes the boy to let go of hidan. The silver haired boy makes a run for it down the path and soon loses the boy Zetsu.


	4. Chapter 4

Hidan pants as he slows down. "what the hell just happened...the crazy freak tried to bite me!" Hidan suddenly hears a chuckle "ran into our canibal have we" The chuckling continues "who's there!" A blue boy looking around the age of 12 pops up behind Hidan. The silvered haired boy jumps and looks only to jump back "you look like a...a shark" hidan frown because the boy also resembled his brother kisame "hello. names kisame" Hidan couldnt say anything he just stared in shock. Kisame waves his hand infront of hidan "hello you still alive in there" Hidan shakes his head and nods "yeah..." kisame smiles "good. no fun if you died on me" the fish boy laughs and hidan smiles awkwardly. Kisame suddenly poofs away "wait!" Hidan said. The blue boy appears "yes?" he responds. Hidan looks at him "i was wondering if you could give me directions" Kisame smiles "Depnds. where do you want to go?" Hidan frowns "Well it doesn't really matter so long-" kisame cuts hidan off "Then it doesnt matter which way you go now does it. But...if i were looking for a specific white rabbit i'd ask the mad hatter in that direction" He points left. Hidan frowns "or you could ask the march hare in that direction" Kisame smiles wide showing sharp teeth pointing right "well thank you i think i will ask the march hare" hidan starts walking on the right path and kisame chuckles "of course he's mad aswell" hidan frowns "i don't want to speak to mad people" kisame laughs "oh you can't help that kid. just about everyone is mad here. Here in wonderland" Hidan huffs and kisame slowly starts disapearing "you may notice...i'm not all there myself" he disapeears leaving nothing but a laugh in the air.

Annoyed hidan walks on down a random path and comes across a man with red hair and hidan went and took a wild guess and said "hello. would you name happen to be sasori" to the strange red haired man smocking a gong. He looks at hidan "yes. it is. and who are you?" hidan frowns "i'm not entirely sure..." Sasori looks at him "why?" Hidan blinks "well...i don't know..." The red haired man takes a few puffs out of his gong and hidan looks at him "would you mind helping me" Sasori simply responds in diffrently with "no" Hidan frowns "fine then freaking be that way." He stomps off. Sasori blinks "oi wait kid!" Hidan looks at him angry "what" the red haired man gets up and starts to walk away "one side makes you grow the other makes you smaller" Hidan blinks "what does?" Sasori huffs "the mushroom of course" he walks away and hidan no longer sees him. He looks at the mushroom and shrugs then takes a piece of one side with one hand and another on the other side with his other hand. He looks at both pieces then takes a bite of one and he grows to a normal size. Hidan smiles "sweet" he starts to walk off glad to be normal sized.


	5. Chapter 5

Hidan hears talking and walks towards it only to be greated by three boys. One looking much like his brother itachi with mouse hears and tail. He's also sleeping on a chair at a long table covered with tea pots and tea cups. The second boy looks like tobi especially with the stupid swirly orange mask but he has brown rabbit ears and a fluffy bunny tail. He's jumping around like a moron while the third who looked exactly like kakuzu but with strange stiches covering his body and his face "hello?" the two who look like kakuzu and tobi look at him and smile "hello" the one who looks like kakuzu sais "im mad hatter and this is march hare" Mad hatter relied "would you like to join our tea party?" the march hare asks and hidan smiles "yes thank you" He sits and pours some tea "so. why are you here" Mad hatter asks. Hidan looks at him "well i fell down a rabbit hole" they nod not caring then suddenly mad hatter sais "its my un birthday today." hidan blinks wondering how someone else knows what an unbirthday is when it was him who made that up "its my unbirthday too" mad hatter and the march hair smile "Really! well here" they plant a cake infront of hidan "make a wish and it will come true!" the march hair sais. So hidan makes a wish and the cake blows up then radomly itachi sings

"twinkle twinkle little bat, how i wonder where you're at, up above the world you fly, like a teatray in the sky"

Hidan smiles and hatter suddenly sais "why's a raven like a writting desk?" Hidan blinks "whys a raven like a writting desk?" Hatter frowns "What?" Tobi flails "HE HAS RIDDLE MADNESS!" Hatter gasps and hidan frowns "what are you talking about its your stupid riddle" hatter and the march hair shoo hidan away "go away shoo we dont want to catch you riddle madness" Hidan frowns and huffs and stomps off


	6. Chapter 6

Hours later of wandering Hidan decides he could care less about the white rabbit and that he just wants to go back home. Suddenly kisame appears "hello" he sais with a smile. Hidan glares at him "aww why so mad?" Hidan tears up "i...i want to go home...but i cant find my way" Kisame smiles "well of course not. The only way to leave is if the King lets you leave." Hidan fgrowns "king? what king? i never met any king" Kisame gasps then chuckles "you havent? oh you must. He'll be mad about you. Simply mad" hidan blinks. "well how do i get to the king" Hidn asks. Kisame shrugs "depands some go left some go right. Personaly, I like to take the short cut" He pulls on a branch and some how the tree opens up to show a castle and kisame disappears.

Hidan walked threw the opening and appeared in the kings courtyard and He walks threw trying to find the king when suddenly someone grabs Hidan and drags him to the king. The one who grabed him looked much like a card.

once in front of the king Hidan looked at him and frowned because there was no douht that the king was his father, pein. "What's your name boy?" Pein asked. Hidan blinks "uh hidan" pein huffs "Stand up straight boy" Hidan stands straight "and say 'my lord' after speaking" Hidan nods "yes my lord" Pein smiles "Good. Now. Do you play coquet?" Hidan nods "Yes my lord" Pein stands "good. now. come along" He walks to the court yard and Hidan follows. They set up the game and they play for awhile when suddenly kisame appears and smirks at Hidan. Hidan frowns confused until suddenly Kisame kicks the king in the behind while the king is bent slightly to hit the ball. Kisame disapears before pein sees him and Hidan as a look of shock on his face and Pein growls. Hidan runs and Pein angerly sais "Get him!"

Hidan runs as the king and his men chase him. He runs for hours and soon comes runs threw the small door which is for some reason no longer small.

Hidan suddenly wakes up and he's by the tree where he was before he saw the white rabbit and he looks around. Deidara mews confused as hidan gets up and runs to go see his brothers. He soon finds them all and explains what happened. They all laugh at him and Chuckles "really Hidan? me a mad hatter? kisame a fish? Zetsu a plant man?" they all laugh harder. Hidan frowns "I'M SERIOUS!" Kisame shakes his head "You're insane" They all walk off except Kakuzu. He looks at Hidan and frowns at the tears in his eyes "hey Hidan. If it means anything...I beilive you" He walks away and hidan frowns then smiles.


End file.
